Guest Editorial: I Am a Victim

This blog may be said to present a particular point of view, ignoring alternative viewpoints. Now that is not very nice, so in a new spirit of democratic decency, I am publishing the following Guest Editorial about  victimization of the rich:


As a Guest Editor invited to present my views in this election season, I thank William Mills, owner of this blog, for allowing me this space. I may not think much of his naive, wimpy liberal whining, but at least he did have the decency to publish my beliefs, which follow…

I believe that I am dependent upon government, that I am a victim, that the government has a responsibility to care for me, that I am entitled to…”you-name-it.” I am dependent upon government to make gambling with other people’s money legal. I am a victim being harried by the sniveling masses jealous of my success. I got my wealth fair and square, taking advantage of the laws my buddies and I wrote in enough smoke-filled rooms to make a man go blind. That was hard work, and I deserve the money. If the widow who could not afford the mortgage I sold her did not know I would “lose the paperwork” and then take her house, that’s her problem. The government has a responsibility to protect me from people like her, to pass the laws that enable me to take their money, to hand me access to public resources for my own personal enrichment, to write laws enabling me to take billions from a corporation for my personal pleasure even when that corporation is threatened with collapse and when its other members are facing unemployment. I am entitled to poison the land and sea in order to maximize my personal profit and the profit of the corporation I lead. When I lose other people’s money, which I have been playing with, I am entitled to bailouts consisting of more of other people’s money, to compensate me for their loss. As I said, I am a victim. When I steal or impoverish my fellow American, I am entitled to a free Stay-Out-of-Jail Card. When I sell arms to the government to fight a war that I persuaded the government to start, I deserve a profit, and the bigger the war, the bigger my profit should be. When a new law needs to be written, I am entitled to a job in the government so that I can write the law that I need…so I will become less of a victim. I am the 0.1%. Vote Republican.


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